Nintendo Console Rundown

In a nutshel, i love Nintedo. Their games are the origional and the best, from Super Mario to Orcharina of time (Still the absolute GEM of my childhood) And their consoles were pretty much the cornerstone of the first 8 years of my life. First the NES, back when it was acceptable for consoles to NOT WORK, that is until you unleash cylone Yazi into the cartage. Then there was the Super Nintendo, Pretty much the same thing only a bit more realiable. Then my favourite of the lot, the Nintendo 64, which is the first time i got a glimps of 3D games in the making, with Banjo Kazooe, another of my favourties.

I geuss back when i was young enough for my parents to find it cute when i swore, the Super Mario series on the NES spent more time raising me then they did! From the overly fun island martini and sunshine levles, right down to the dark ship levles that prequaled every boss fight. Say what you want about the series being the same thing only different cover, or liniar loads of bullshit but FUCK OFF if it wasnt for this generation of games there wouldnt even be any mainstream titles that we love so much, with exception of Halo. They were always such simple side scrolling platform based levles which back then, worked! and try and tell me that Super Mario 3 didnt introduce the world map! that was GOLD back then and went on to be used in games like Yoshi Story 64 and Donky Kong on the SNES.

Later on came the Gameboy Advance, which i have to admit, I cried when i got this for christmas. Back when it first came out it was one of the best things you ould own! I was the king of the playground walking around like i was top shit! games that i had aong with it included Yoshies Island, a seriously baby version of Super Mario which was even too sad for an 8 year old; Metroid Fusion which was ok kept me entertained but nevertheless turned me off the entire Metroid series after that; and my favourite Sword of Mana. Previous readers of my blog will know that I have a soft spot for Adventuer games. Sword of Mana was one of th best games ive ever played because of, 1: It was PURE adventure compleate with magic spells and fantasy story line, and 2: you actualy played as 2 different charactors, both with there own story line, but still came together in the end. It was liike 2 ganmes in one and had at least 20 hours of gameplay, which is more than any other Advance game i can think of, and that can even hold its own against some mainstream crap thats churned out these days.

Then the DS bullshit started. If anyone remembers the origional Gameboy SP, was just a tiny, cheap ass, flip screen bullshit gameboy with a smaller screen and holding it felt like wet dick. Ratings for this were pathetic. But instead of taking constructive critisism and scrapping the product and coming up with somthing more intuitive Nintendo threw up their hands and and said FUCK IT! I know what we will do, we’ll remake the piece of shit into a bigger, more bulky piece of shit with an extra screen! But wouldnt that make it complicated to operate? asks somone with half a brain. “NO!” sceams Nintendo “Its PERFECT we’ll call it Nintendo DS and we’ll charge double the price and one day we will make it even MORE rediculous and add a headache generater called 3D.” And you are all pathetic for buying into it you…..oooooohhh….!

I geuss Nintendo is a great al rounder, they have a bit of everything, except the graphics. Even the Nintendo wii sufferes from brittle bone disese. Though I must admit they did pave the way for a compleatly new way of playing video games, making it at least better for children then sitting and staring at the TV. Now they are able to accidently let go of the Wii remote and send it flying THROUGH the TV. See? Nintendo think of everything!!


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