Beyond: Two Souls

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Does everyone remember Heavy Rain? That really awesome QTE based movie style game that had an amazing and comprehensive story line by developers Quantic? Now does everyone also remember hearing about the new Beyond game being released at E3 2013? And how exciting you all were? How amazing is this game gonna be right? WRONG!!

Quantic, Quantic, Quantic….What the fuck were you thinking. What was meant to be such a greatly anticipated game has turned out to be, and I quote this from IGN themselves, “An Absolute Mess, that needs to be fixed!”

I was lucky, or maybe UNlucky enough to play the demo from E3 2013 here in Australia. Not impressed Quantic. Since you failed to put any thought into the story line or the controls of this game, I shall review it on a level that they will understand!

You play as Jodie, the main bitch, who has some other ghost bitch, Iden, who works in the CIA or some shit, and that has a friend in Somalia, but maybe their NOT friends because she killed some other asshole also in Somalia or some shit__ I DUNNO! The story is absolutly pathetic and irralivent to their previous Beyond title. I expected so much more from the makers on Heavy Rain, where they actually put effort and time into creating a vivid and realistic murder story in the time span on 3 days! Beyond: Two Souls spread their shit over 15 FUCKING YEARS!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? How do you expect to have a decent story line in 1 game when the story is over 15 years as apposed to 3 days?! I don’t know!

I also have no idea how you expect us to control these little shits of characters when they move as if they are being pushed and pulled by jetpacks carrying a Girraff on one shoulder, and a Hippo on the other! Jodie is mainly cover based, needing to duck a crawl behind sets and scenery. However the camera only points in 1 directions. YOU, making it near impossible to see what the fuck your doing, or where the fuck you are! The angle of the camera is always positioned in such a way that it gives you such a narrow spread of your surroundings. Controls for Iden however, are simply chaotic, complecated and confusing. You use the right trigger to go down and the right bumper to move up, and you lock onto an enemy by pressing the left bumper or somthing, and attack by holding that button while moving the analogue sticks in oppisite directions from eachother or somthing. Maybe you can also cast spells by using the right trigger to touch your nose while you recite the national anthem whilst Mars in perfectly inline with Mercury! It’s a mess! An absolute confusing, complicated, frusterating mess.

Appart from decent voice acting, and pretty well rendered graphics, there is nothing good I can say about this game! Nothing! And I doubt it will be fixed in time for it’s official launch. DO NOT buy! Save that money and get yourself $89 worth of note pads instead. You can make a flip book with them that has a more compeling story line.

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