Top 5 Android Games

Between Android and Apple, I would honestly have to incline towards Apple for having the better quality games in their store. But i decided to review a few little hidden trinkets in the Android market since it’s a topic not touched upon much. So here we go!


#5 Burger Shop | Arcade

Ever since the Wedding Dash craze started, there has been wave after wave of these arcade, ‘mini-game made larger’ apps available. I honestly love them but I began losing faith in them until GoBit Games, a small unknown developer came out with Burger Shop. Your objective? Make burgers. Sound boring? It kind of was at the start, but slowly but surely as the levels went on, more and more features and objectives made the game harder and harder. You make the burger for the customer based on the picture that hovers above their head, but touching the ingredients that show up on the conveyor belt. Some customers also want fries or ice-cream, which you need to make using the dedicated machines. I know it sounds horrible but it is one of the most addictive games I have ever played!



#4 Pocket Mind Arcade

Another very addictive touch game by Roofdog Games. It seems like the best games come from developers that no one has ever heard of! Touch a block to clear a path to make your way down the mine. Some blocks like rock or diamond take more than one touch to clear it, which takes life away from your pick. You gain more strength for your pick by buying it using the coins you gain by selling things like coal, gold or diamond. The game is packed with features and obstacles you encounter in the mine, like crates that blow up to clear the mine faster, or some that have special artefacts that unlock MORE features! The game just throws interesting shit your way to keep you entertained, and it WORKS! I highly recommend you play this on a tablet with a stylus. 


#3 Dungeon Keeper Strategy

A newer, more unique game set in hell. Create and control different minions for different jobs within your own personal hell. You create rooms in your dungeon, each used for a separate purpose. Some hold gold, some make stone to build other rooms, some are traps to attack enemies and so on. Some rooms allow you to train up newer skills for your minions to allow them to defend or attack a little better. Although the game is slow at times, and getting your head around it at first can be a hassle, I wanted to include it in this list because of it’s originality. 



#2 Royal Revolt Action

Fun! Yay! That’s the best way to describe this charm! You are the general of a very magical army of archers, wizards and soldiers out to destroy the castle of your foes! Tap your army to advance them further down the road towards the castle. As the general, you have the ability to rejuvenate their health, or use special attacks on walls, turrets and enemies. Some special attacks have traits that allow them to be stronger against curtain types of walls and enemies. There are traps and switches that need to be activated to open up parts of the road, which is harder then it sounds. Each member of your army needs to be spawned, which uses some of your spawn bar, but re fills as the game goes on, giving the game a more strategic difficulty.



#1 Ittle Dew | Adventure

From indie developer Ludosity. Best compared to Link Minish Cap, and, as you already may has guessed, ANY game that is like link will make it to the TOP of any of my lists! Short and sweet, is this game. A little disappointed at how short the game is but it is what it is. There are 3 or 4 areas on the map, with only 3 or 4 different items you acquire along the way. The game is a little more adult than a normal link game, referencing adult style humour and wit within the script making it a little less childish then it looks. The cartoony graphics and sketchy scenery give the fun feel of an old school gameboy game that I love! I would really love if this game had a little more in it than it does. 



GTA V – Grand Theft Auto Five


Well, Grand Theft Auto V is finally here, and will more than 800 Million Dollars made off the game in a single day world wide, the hype for Rockstar’s best asset has never been higher! But how is the game? Let’s take a look!

The first reaction will you get straight out of the box is ‘WOOAahhh!’ as you pull out the massive map included in the box. It is unbelievably big. San Andreas set the bar for large maps with it’s multiple island Blaine County (Northern Country. What surprises me is the people from each county actually act the part. In the city, you get rich, upper  (to a degree) well speaking people driving nice cars, and littered with pimps and whores; and in the south, you get your country bumpkin, tobacco spitting, crap car driving red necks, littered with pimps and whores. It really does a lot to add to the experience of the game, while driving from one side to the other. The map being so large, however, still has a lot of open and unused space. The entire map only has about 20 to 25 different things to actually do which does make the size of the map a little redundant. However, It is still quite amazing.


In the city, your main characters are Franklin and Michael. Franklin, your typical black homie “N WORD NWORD NWORD”  swearing mumbling gangster guy, with a big heart and loyalty up the black arse  (My favorite guy)  and Michael. The rich, over protective ‘family man’ with a family so shit he might as well have screwed a bag of manure. From the south you get guys like Trevor, which I think Trevor deserves his own paragraph.

Trevor. If there was any game character that needed a trophy for best voice acting and script writing, it’s Trevor. From the introduction of this man and even while your playing his character and demeanor simply does an amazing job at making you feel like your part of the red neck society.  Trevor is a Meth addict and maker. His incredibly hot temper and Jack Nicholson / Heath Ledger as the Joker style dark humor does the job conveying a realistic and convincing insight into the world of underground drug dealership.

ImageWhat’s great about this game is you have the ability to switch between each character, either during a mission to get the best shooting angle, or outside of a mission, allowing you to complete missions set with the character you choose. Franklin also has a little doggie, Chop, that can also be switched to during missions, allowing you to sniff out further clues required for that mission.

Heists in the game are also included, which are now bigger, better and so much fun! The first heist you will come into is a Jewellery store robbery, which requires you to choose your getaway driver, alarm programmer, gun man, and weather or not you want to run in blazing with guns or do it smart. I chose to do it nice and stealthy, so I needed to first collect some knockout gas by intercepting a chemical truck, before stealing another truck and further supplies before even starting the mission! It’s Great! Each character can be found in your cell phone, and are sorted by skill level. he higher the skill, the bigger the cut!


You also have access to your iFruit smart phone, which is the most realistic in game smart phone ever! Rockstar games would have spend weeks putting together and making customized websites, links, stock pages, and brand names that is all displayed on what I actually thought was a real web browser. The best part of it for me is the stock trading ,which allows you to buy stocks and sell them when they are high!

Controlling your character is a little bitchy, though. The controls are non-accurate, boldly rounded and a touch laggy, especially when walking around. Simple things like walking through a narrow doorway can turn into a frustrating ordeal, especially when you are in such a rush! Apart from this tiny little annoyance, the game is stunning, fun to play, well told and brilliantly finished off.  It’s a definite 9 out of 10 stars.

You can win YOUR own copy here!

The Last of Us PS3 gains Epic reviews

All over the Interwebs, Critics proclaim it to be ‘near perfect’ and ‘outstanding. But what makes it so good? Let’s have a look.20130621-110850.jpg
First impressions of this game is stunning, Graphically, and emotionally. Set in a deshevield American town, after an uncontrolable fungi slash virus wipes out the population. You control Joel, about 20 years after mankind destroyed. As the town life and city scapes are quickly reclaimed by mother nature, the Last of Us contradicts beatiful back drops of nature and tranquility, with dispair and misery. The game always brings the player back to the feeling loss and pain, with unexpected events, death and perfectly set lighting. The scene is sewt from the moment you turn on the game. Little side events that happen in the background are placed there for a reason, adding to the realism. Although sometimes it is noticable that the game is doing somthing on purpose.

While the Story may revolve around the fact that mankind is obliderated astetically, it feels more as if the STORY LINE is more focused on the interaction between your character, Joel, and Ally, whos backstory is planned and set remarkably well. While we as the player will relate to Joel and most other characters in the game, with them previously having a normal life before the virus, Ally was born into the chaos and misery less than 20 years ago. Her idea of a life is consistant drama. Her childhood non exsistant lined up next to Joel’s standards. Their interactions are nothing more than poetic, and perfect.

Game play, as you may already know is in third person. You not only have to defend yourself from other humans such as oppressers, goverment officials and outlaws, but the virus has mutated healthy humans into beings known so creativly as ‘The Infected.’ They are not silent, or stealthy, which takes away from the suspence, but does do somethin to add to the urgency avoiding them hurting you. There are also half infected, known as runners, and the chronically infected, the clickers which can call game over with one bite. The infected are not smart, and do not do much to watch their step and stay alive, unlike humans, who are smart and work together. This kind of interaction from the A.I. makes each combat situation different and unpredictable, requiring you to be on the ball and alert at all times. Ammo is extreamly limeted, forcing Joel to, wherever possible, use his hands nd a knife to quietly and quickly take out the unknowing. What I do LOVE about the Last of Us is the ability to combine items, glass bottles to Kitchen supplies you find in the enviroment, to create different weapons and fighting equipment to be used. Items you find are used to create items, which are used again to create other items. It swings a little too close to the crafting system of MineCraft, leaving alot of the design work up to you, to figure out what combination of what makes what! What I did like however, is the game does NOT pause while you make these items. Using a health kit can either save you or kill you, if there are enemies around to watch you do it. The sence of urgency is greatly increased, adding again to the realism.
The camera however is a severe kick to the nuts though, half the time the action is behind your massive head that somehow manages it’s way up to the lens! Movement is often slow and laggy, breaking flow of combat, and making precision action near impossible! There also seems to be a shit load of scissors and tape (for making shives) that are found conveniently and perfectly placed next to each other!

The Last of Us is being dubbed, a Masterpiece, fetching 10 out of 10 reviews accross the board. From stunning graphics to engenious story line and human interaction, it’s a game a deffinitly reccomend!

Shadow of a Soul

ImageSTEP RIGHT UP FOLKS!!! Get ready for the next BIG thing to hit the survival Horror game market!! Vivec Games has OFFICIALLY announced that it will be DELAYED!!  AGAIN!!! YAY!! What a fucking surprise!

I understand that these guys want there first game to be amazing, but fuck sake people deliver!! And it’s quite annoying to hear that Vivec are offering to hand back refunds so nonchalantly, as if they don’t care about their fast growing fan base! IT’S AN OUTRAGE I SAY!!

Having said that, Shadow of a Soul – Chapter 1 is said to be the new Amnesia the dark decent, with high hopes that Vivec will even rival Frictional Games with this release, NOW set back until December this year.

I for one am not holding my breath, as this is the 3rd time they have set back their release, which they only make public well after the due date.

more information on Shadow of a Soul, and Vivec can be found at their website!

Check out the trailer, it’s pretty awesome!

Candy Crush Saga

ImageTHAT’S RIGHT!! The much loved Facebook game has FINALLY, after 3 whole days become an iPhone app! Because no body in the whole fucking world saw this coming!! there’s only been around 172 games EXACTLY like it before but all these no life Facebook whores need something to eat up time while there waiting for their pregnancy test to come in. So what the hell! i’ll review it!’

Just like Bejewelled, Dr. Mario, and about 40 other games that I can think of, Candy Crush is all about matching the colours by swapping them around to make lines of 3 or more. and ALSO like Bejewelled, Dr. Mario, and about 40 other games that I can think of, there’s various power ups that destroy large amounts of candy in different and colourful ways! There around 400 levels, with about 5 different game modes, which actually sets it ever so slightly apart from its predecessors. Some modes make you clear away jelly, others make you fight for points in a short time frame, making each level a joy to get to, even if it is a rip off of bejewelled!

But of cause, some ass hole decided there was money to be made, so the game has a limit of 5 lives, after which you have to either wait 20 minutes for a life, OR pay using real hard earned money to gain an extra 40 seconds of joy time. alternative you can ask your friends on Facebook for extra lives, because hey, they don’t have a fucking life either!!

What’s the Saying?

Remember that 4 pics 1 word game? That everyone go so caught up with everyone was having accidents because they played it while eating, working and driving? I know because I was one of them! That’s why it was no surprise that I was naturally drawn to ‘What’s the Saying?’ a box puzzle style brain teaser game, requiring logic and brain smarts. I have neither.
Each level features a small little picture riddle, which will be associated with a popular saying. For example, the letter C with an arrow under it could mean something like ‘Under the C.’ Shit like that! It’s cute!
There is not much more than that in regards to game play. You level up step by step, whilst being more and more tested. Each correct answer will gain 10 coins, which can buy letters to solve the phrase, or reduce the amount of letters to choose from.
The one thing, and ONLY thing, that gets to me about the gameplay is that fact that if you get the phrase wrong, it removes all letters and you have to input it starting again, letter by letter, which becomes incredibly frustrating if you have large clumsy fingers, and sometimes hit the wrong letter after inputting in a massive essay of a phrase.
But, end in all, it’s a great time passing game, and doesn’t draw too much attention to you if you want to play it whilst at work!
I’m Pretty sure it’s free, so give it a try! Let me know what you think!



Slender Rising – The new slender man

So, most of you gamers would have heard of the slender man fad that swept through the gaming society like 10 bees and a cat chasing them. It all started when parsec introduced their indie version of the German folk tale, Slender. A scary Suited man with no face, out to torture people stupid enough to wonder dark, desolate and obviously dangerous forests alone at night with nothing but a flash light.
But move the fuck over parsec because there is a WAY better version of your game available right on your iPhone! Slender Rising! Now you can Shit your pants anywhere, conveniently.
Developed by Michael Hagemann, Slender Rising utilises the full capacity of the iPhone to not only deliver far better and more convincing graphics than Slender by Parsec, but also includes different words and variations on those worlds to draw you in from the very beginning.
There are 4 worlds to choose; Haunted Forrest, Desolate town, Mental Hospital and dark ruins, which can all be played in Day, night (with flashlight) through night vision or during a storm. Each mode and world strikes a different feel, and mood allowing for more diverse gameplay, and keeps the user engaged for longer.
Just like the Parsec version, you wonder the world to find 7 pieces of paper or notes, from Slender. The endless mode, also provides endurance type gameplay, seeing how many notes you can collect before being caught. Once you are caught you have the chance to escape and continue collecting the notes. Slender man is now more animated and detailed, adding to the fear factor.
One thing I liked about Slender Rising is the lack of music. To me, I find this draws the user in more, adding a more realistic feel to the game. Nothing but footsteps, and the occasional ambience of the world is heard, contrasting with the sudden shriek when you see slender.
The controls are fucking annoying, however, having to select the point on the ground you wish to walk to, and then having to hold down the screen to run, breaks the flow of the game. Controls can be changed however so it’s not a massive deal.
This is a definite no brainer for any gamer wanting a quick, easy thrill without the risk of contracting an STD. and for $2.99 it is definitely worth it. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few more updates down the line though. It definitely has the room and potential for it.
Give it a click! Its good. Promise!