That’s right, my game loving, 7-up drinking Zombie mother fuckers! It’s ME!

After nearly 3 years, Game Thief has returned with brand new reviews for PS4, Wii U, Mobile, Xbox One and more! Stay TUNED!


WHERE BACK!! (yayy)

Hold your applause ladies and gentlemen, but today we will be releasing our latest reviews! YAY!

Stay tuned to game thief! 



Since forever, the idea of the paranormal has always fascinated human kind! So It’s no surprise that Game developers have been riding the band wagon for years now pumping out anything that is remotely spooky scary or just plain cruel! So without further a due I present to you Lucius, the little demon seed boy that you just want to kick in his grudge ripoff face.


The idea of going around killing people in gruesome and unusual ways gets you off doesn’t it? YES it does don’t lie, so there’s no question that in theory, Lucius is one amazingly fun game.You control Lucius, a young boy with the the devil as his father, who wonders around his parents enormous mansion gathering souls to bring back to the devil, who apparently lives in Lucius’ bedroom. Your diary, which thankfully your parents do not find, has all your victims written in it. Each kill gains a new power or strengthens an existing power, such as telekinesis, which you use for the next kill, and so on. Each Kill or ‘Chapter’ begins with you waking up in your bedroom, which breaks the flow of the story line a little. 


Killing people isn’t as simple as it seems though. Each one is like a puzzle, with only ONE specific method to get the job done! each kill requires you to figure out EXACTLY what to touch and press at the EXACT right time while the stars are PERFECTLY aligned above the third hair on your left ball sack! As the game goes on you begin spending 80% of the game play time wondering around the endlessly large mansion trying to figure out what to do or where to go! One kill required me to move boxes from one room to another  which had no relevance to what I actually had to do to progress the Story! I later realized that what I did was a chore which grow your good behavior! Useless! utterly useless! Crucifixes within the house also drain your power unless turned up side down, which is a nice touch. However they do not do anything to you unless you are close enough to practically lick Sacred Jesus’ Feet, so it’s a little redundant! Power regenerates immediately anyway. 

The Game lacks direction, and says FUCK IT! Wonder around on your own and figure shit out by yourself! There’s no proper tutorial or help if you get stuck, making you guess your way through the entire story! I gave up when I was told to kill the head maid. That’s it! I looked it up online and it turns out I had to wait for ages until she got up from her chair then I had to go into the kitchen with something I found in a another room and poison her food and god knows what else!


Overall the game is fun until you have to close it down every 5 minutes to look up the FAQ online to see what you have to do next, how to use your power or how to play the game in general. The game was not taught out enough, and it is clear that it was pushed out as fast as possible! 2 stars at best.

Rayman Legends – PS Vita


HELOOO Loyal thieves and welcome back to Game Thief! Yes I know it has been a while since I posted a little blurb up for you to read and hopefully chuckle at but FRET NO MORE! Here is one for you right now!

Rayman – Origins was one of the best selling titles on the PS Vita for quite some time. The popular game by Ubisoft got rave reviews and amazing player ratings all over Australia. So it’s no shock that the big time developers decided to make a sequel. In one word? Confusing! But I know I know we always start with the good, right?

As any good game developers should, they have kept the charm and pure fun that we all have come to love about Rayman. Controlling Rayman is just as smooth and well laid out as it was in Rayman Origins.  The sets and vibrant levels are incredibly thought out and unpredictable. One level has you whizzing about smashing walls and enemies while being perfectly timed to music! At the end of the level I was left with a ‘WOW, Let’s do that Again!’ buzz which is rare in any visual media these days! 


The game now has co-op play which was greatly missed in the last title, which allows you to connect up to another played on the same network. There is now a whole bunch of other content to be played together, such as a soccer mini-game, as well as daily and weekly challengers, where you play against ghost players of people around the world! Mint!

What I do NOT like is the why that Ubisoft tried to incorporate the touchscreen into the game. There are now levels that you play as Murphy using just the touch screen, requiring you to tap enemies, cut ropes and other tedious and not fun things to get the automatic player from one side of the level to the other. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there thinking ‘I wish I was having as much fun as the AUTOMATIC FUCKING PLAYER!’ Each of these levels start with Rayman waving and saying ‘Over to you Murphy’ which is followed immediently by my annoyed sigh and a tighter angry grip on the Vita. Rayman is not a touchscreen game! The touch screen is not needed! Some games need to be left alone and only tweaked here and there!


So why would a game like this be confusing? Well they have gone for a completely different level select structure than before. Turns out that user friendly game maps are so early 2005! The idea is cute, having to jump into different paintings for each level like Super Mario 64, but there are so many different rooms and different paintings which makes getting to a specific level a nightmare! Think of it like having a million folders on your desktop, each one containing another million folders, and then each one of THOSE containing 1 level! Horrible! You also can win levels from Rayman Origins game which is a brilliant idea, but jumping from Origins paintings back to Legends paintings just makes the whole experience confusing and annoying. 


The Game is Good, but it is not better that Origins! It’s not even as good as Origins. It’s just good. BORDERLINE good. I recommend getting it when the price drops a little lower! 

Ittle Dew – Rip off Game of the Week

ImageEvery now and again, someone, somewhere, rips off a game so hardcore that it’s almost intoxicating. This weeks rip off title is Ittle Dew, by Ludosity. The game it’s ripping off? My legendary favorite, Zelda – Minish Cap/Ocarina of Time. Instead of Link, you play as Dew, a green wearing darker blonde boy suddenly thrown into the world of magic and chaos. Instead of Navi, you have a flying dog thing carrying a bottle of what, at first, looks like booze that hes clutching onto for dear life. For those of you who do not know, Zelda is my absolute gem of gaming. The Pinnacle of my gaming life. So naturally, I downloaded this in the hopes that it would live up to what it HOPED to be. No..nnn…no. Like always, Let’s start with the good.


The graphics are very well done, and does a lot of bring that cartoon classic RPG feel to the modern screen. enemies are surprisingly varied, each with there own strength and weakness.  Enemies also have their own card which you collect within the castle and 3 dungeons. And Dungeons are quite in depth and interesting to walk around, offering different options and alternative routs. 

Although the Dungeons are little medium / large, there is only 3 of them. The castle is massive, but you can knock that out in about an hour! And only because you have to keep returning to it. There are only 4 different items, 1 of which isn’t really an item, but are quite cleverly programmed in together, making it fun and interesting using them to solve different puzzles. There’s a freezing wand to use on objects and enemies, a teleport wand to teleport objects enemies or even yourself around the room, and a fire sword to set things ablaze while you laugh at their pain!  Puzzles themselves, however,  are OK at best, offering little challenge and variate. It is almost always the standard “Push Block onto This and Stand on This” solution, which I admit sometimes is bloody hard, but most of the time it’s f***ing easy.  


End in All, the game is good. Not worth the $15 from steam, or the $5 from the App/GooglePlay store. It’s just too short. Although it’s fun and engaging, there is not enough of the game itself to warrant it a full 5 star review. I want to see more from Ludosity. I think they have a lot more to offer!

Phone Bloks – The smart phone of the future!

A recent short video clip was released explaining how people waste phones and throw out their entire phone just because one small aspect of the phone failed. Phone Bloks (video posted below) is a new type of phone, which allows you to mix and match different components of a phone, like the camera, Bluetooth chip, CPU and more, and place them like legos onto the main bored how ever way you want. If you want a better camera, buy yourself a bigger camera module from your choice of developers and stick it in! Don’t need a speaker? take it out! Or change over the CPU! Maybe you want a keypad instead of a touch screen! BAM! put it in! Get the Idea?

The concept itself is amazing, simplistic and purely user friendly, whilst helping to minimize tech pollution.But what are the downsides to such a great idea?

Smart phones are designed in a specific way, in order to get the highest performance in the smallest space possible. Big companies like Apple and Samsung take years perfecting the correct combination and configuration of different components to ensure the longest and best life span of all electronic equipment. Leaving this choice up to the consumer, while sounding pretty fancy and easy, will lower performance and open up millions of different problems. And, Having infinite numbers of different configurations will make tech support a living hell! 

What do you think? Have a look at the video link and leave your comment below! Do you think this will work!?